I’m feeling the sting again. Everyday is a business of keeping focus while maintaining the thoughts that still dwell and the hurt that is still very much alive. Once the dust from the day settles and I’m calm again the emotions, the hurt and the anger re-surface. And why do I care so much? Why does it still hurt that this weaker person came into my life three times before when things for me were going well and then threw everything out of kilter? I feel so very thrown away and forgotten about. Perhaps if I had gotten pregnant and bore three children I would have been wanted as much as she still is. Although I would have kept my word when she threw hers, it all away but yet I’m the one who was abandoned each time. But maybe it was simply…him. Possibly he is the reason she wanted out.
And just maybe I wasn’t simply thrown away…but spared.
- Desiree` Magee
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