Dismissing Myself

I don't know how to describe what I feel. I haven't been to my park in a few weeks or so, but tonight I was close by so I had the opportunity and took it. Tonight's is a lovely sky and I found four sparkling stars. I felt confused however, because I only desire one star. I had asked God for my own star a while back and after some time one did appear to my right side as I faced Cottonclub St., but now there are three more and they are just as lovely. I wonder if He speaks to me through the sky...

My mind for the past few days has been at an all too familiar place with some ones memory still in my heart. Little did I know that at this time he would suddenly become so close. If I hadn't been so stunned I would have waved back to him, but I hope he felt my smile. 
My thoughts set on him as I set my iPod to "Best I Ever Had" by Vertical Horizon, but found that single memory fade away as I re-played the track several times while losing my mind in the night sky. There was a road I was walking down in my old neighborhood just then, but I wished it had somehow became longer, because I truly didn't want to be anywhere else but on that side walk in that moment, gazing at one of the stars, hoping it might lift me toward it if I lost myself in it enough.. There was a time on a night like this when the sky was full of the moon and the clouds were of just the right romance that I would climb the roof of my childhood home and sitting there with the Celtic melodies of Enya I would gaze upward. Below me in the kitchen my mother was preparing dinner and if my memory serves me it was spagetti that night. I only did this a couple of times, perhaps five at most and each time I was over whelmed with the passion I have only gotten from losing myself in the night sky.
Tonight was windy and cool and though I had my head phones in my ears seemed quiet. I had so much to think about that I didn't know what to think about and really didn't want to think at all. That's why my spirit broke through when I again noticed the sky and everything else seemed non-existent for a moment, seemed to fade away.. Because the road, I knew wouldn't magically grow I decided to re-trace my steps. Unfortunately standing there wouldn't get me to where I want to go, so I admitted that it was time to make my way back to the park.
I sat on a mound once I reached the park to correctively focus on the sky, but...it just wasn't the same. I missed Savoy's sidewalk.

On my trip back home I again played the same track over several more times while I hung my head half-way out the window. ...One of these days maybe I'll find the one who will feel me..because this emotion is just too wonderful to keep to myself. I hope I've given it some written justice here.

- Desiree` Magee