Simply Won't Do

I feel like something's coming... When I hit my revelation a few weeks ago the future relationship with the man I am to marry undoubtedly came into play. One time, and I don’t recall when exactly, I feel the Lord has called me to witness in some type of mission. Granted all believers have the sole task to witness the Gospel to non-believers, but I feel God has called me to do so in a greater aspect, but of course this is not to down-play any other method! I simply mean I feel this is to play a great role in my life and…I simply cannot be with anyone who doesn’t feel and want to do the same. In the past I have loved those who were obviously wrong for me, I have loved those who “would do.” Although my faith is of the utmost importance I now realize that it will take more than that for a man to spark my interest in the future. It will take a definite play in God’s work on his part, an obvious show of not simply believing, but contributing to that faith. I’ve never been involved with a guy who was truly active in his Christian role. After I felt the Lord speak to me through that trial I realized that no other man will do, but one who puts his thoughts in the Lord’s thoughts, dwells on them, studies them, longs to hear from Him, longs to win others to Him…That’s what I long to do and for a while now I’ve longed to do more, to be more, to reach my fullest potential as a Christian that I can on this earth while I am still here. For a long time I’ve always felt the Lord was calling me to do something great with my life and I think this may be it. I had thought often about what I would study in college, what I should become, where I should go and all of my dreams seemed to flutter to the ground shortly after their flight. And what would it really matter if I became a psychologist, performer, manager, business owner…? Certainly these things are good, but I want to do even greater, something that doesn’t just count in this life, but the one coming, the one I’m meant for, the one that all should see and have their hearts set on. I’m not saying I won’t pursue a career, but I long to chase after my mission as a believer in Christ, something more than simply a bank account to invest in when really that‘s what a career is. I want to go even further…I just need to figure out what He wants me to do now..

There’s a three-day conference coming to town that I so want to attend. I’m hoping my manager will let me off those three nights. I trust if God wants me to be there it will happen.

How my heart would swell if I were to be given to a minister or at least public speaker for Christ. That would touch me in such a way. I do not want to sit back as a mere church-goer and I don’t want to live my life with someone who wants that either. I want- I need someone who desires more out of his Christian heart, desires more from what actions he takes, where he places his goal…I can almost feel him in my head. Strangely when I went through that dark area a few weeks ago not only did I draw even closer to my God, but I honestly feel like somehow I know who I am to love a little more…I feel as if God has told me about him simply by putting these fierce desires for the man he I need him to be. I may even go as far as to say the man I’m meant to be with may be a pastor or at least on his way to some time of public ministry. I would adore to see my man up on the pulpit, sharing his faith with others, but not just as a pastor in a church. I’m telling you, I want to go farther than that. I want to be apart of something big, a revival, a large ministry, a public mission…something…bigger than Sunday morning and evening… I need to do more than attend church. It simply won’t do. There is a desire and longing I feel God placed in my heart that I simply cannot settle for anything less than fulfilling those desires and I personally cannot settle for a man who wants any less in his heart.

- Desiree` Magee