What You Taught Me

You taught me that as long as I keep throwing my bait our there I will get a bite.
You taught me to open my mind to other sounds I may not have given a chance.
You taught me to have patience and wait for the right time to show myself.
You taught me to feel the pressure of learning what I needed to learn in time to prove it.
You taught me what it's like to think of names for days to finally come to the one that sticks.
You taught me what it's like to finally be in that spot light and not being able to move.
You taught me to almost forget the words, because we were short a mic.

You taught me how to dread the sound of a latch falling.
You taught me to feel a school yard hollowness.
You taught me to disappear from sight and wonder if anyone might look for me.
You taught me to keep my phone at arms length and it's volume maxed.
You taught me to wonder in and out of possibilities that otherwise would be pillow day-dreams.
You taught me to let my imagination run.
You taught me to be willing to keep my distance just so I could stay close.

You taught me to realize what I felt was not alone.
You taught me to lay on my bedroom floor wondering 'Did that just really happen...?'
You taught me to feel my hands shaking as you got closer and the instinct to avoid it.
You taught me to lose my appetite when you questioned me.
You taught me to want nothing more, but to get home and be alone.
You taught me to drive down the highway and stop at a land mark.
You taught me things may not be what they seem.

You taught me to fight for someone who isn't understood.
You taught me to counsel someone who wants to fight.
You taught me to focus on only those good traits and forgive the bad.
You taught me to have and show patience and kindness no matter what.
You taught me to stand up for someone who just needed a true friend.
You taught me to see beneath what others couldn't.

You taught me to gaze at the stars.
You taught me to find a place where I alone would go to ponder on all things.
You taught me to keep communicating with God.
You taught me to seek the truth for my heart.

You taught me to turn on myself.
You taught me to ignore what God was saying.
You taught me to fall farther.
You taught me to feel jaded.
You taught me to long for something with all my heart knowing it wasn't real.
You taught me to cry when I was alone.
You taught me to dream when I was awake.
You taught me to feel isolated in a world that surrounded me.
You taught me to love my misery.

You taught me to long with all I am.
You taught me to believe with all I had.
You taught me to encourage someone who didn't have the confidence to fly.
You taught me to give all I had.
You taught me to love without holding back.
You taught me to day dream of a life so surreal and ignore reality.
You taught me to be willing to sacrifice so much to prove my love.
You taught me what true love is.
You taught me to remain loyal when I wasn't asked to.
You taught me to ask myself "Is this worth it?"
You taught me to long with all I am to say "Yes!"

You taught me to look forward to a day.
You taught me to love the view in my drive way.
You taught me to wait anxiously for a car door.
You taught me to hope it would happen more.
You taught me to talk for hours.
You taught me to feel anxious to reach over.
You taught me to joke around.
You taught me to move to music.
You taught me to find meaning in almost every song.
You taught me to turn the bass up in my car.
You taught me to accept a gift I didn't ask for.
You taught me to recover it when it was missing.

You taught me to feel eyes staring.
You taught me to ignore what I knew was on your mind.
You taught me to lose my train of thought.
You taught me to ramble on even when I myself didn't care.
You taught me to pull away when I only wanted to come close.
You taught me to wait.
You taught me to long to fly to what I felt and ignore it altogether.

You taught me to wonder everyday "When will this end?'
You taught me to desire something so greatly that it hurt.
You taught me to feel guilt in my heart for wanting something I wanted to believe in.
You taught me to fool myself to believe it was worth it.
You taught me to feel nothing, but guilt in a kiss.
You taught me that dreams that come true don't always feel how you hope.

You taught me to start planning the end of my trial.
You taught me to second guess if I really wanted to go on.
You taught me to wonder if you would be gone forever.

You taught me to feel the sting of words that weren't true.
You taught me to lose my control.
You taught me to take it day by day.

You taught me how people can turn.
You taught me that I can't make someone truely love me.
You taught me how someone who was so close to me could deliberately hurt me.
You taught me that some people will love me for what I give them.

You taught me to find God again.
You taught me to draw ever closer to Him.

You taught me how to be bitter.
You taught me that no matter how much good I did I was scorned.
You taught me to cry over hurtful words.
You taught me to understand all along what you were really doing.
You taught me to continue looking under the surface.
You taught me to see the love in the hate.
You taught me to feel as though I still mattered by the compacity of your anger.
You taught me to love you anyway.

You taught me who I don't want to be when I grow up.
You taught me to never let my heart be consumed with grudges and bitterness.
You taught me to love everyone with all my heart and never be cruel, never assume, and always show my love.
You taught me to feel sorrow when I realised you didn't learn from my love.
You taught me to realise how cruel words can hurt hearts.
You taught me to always forgive.
You taught me to long to be a more loving person than you as I get older.

You taught me to walk with God again.
You taught me what not to look for in a man.
You taught me that even though I loved you with all my heart and still do I can never let you back in it.
You taught me to go back in time to remember a smile, a laugh, a song.
You taught me to long for those days when I could hold your hand.
You taught me to wish I could reach for your hair again.
You taught me that even though so much has happened I still miss you.
You taught me to always bring your memory up.
You taught me to love hearing your name still.
You taught me to love talking about you.
You taught me to wish my friends would quit bringing you up.
You taught me that I'll always love you and treasure the good AND bad things and I don't think I'll ever be able to capture all you taught me in words.

Above all you taught me that you never truely stop loving someone; you just learn to live without them...and pray they haven't forgotten all you taught them.

- Desiree` Magee