Well...I attended all these days of the NOW Conference and honestly...I don't feel I got anything from it save what I believe I already have and the feeling of slight discomfort, lol. It wasn't bad, but truely I don't feel it really spoke to me. I had hoped for a more theme and/or goal-oriented message to be received, but really it was more like a revival and tool for new recruits... I guess I was just looking for something less broad, something more specific with a particular target...that's what I think I'm looking to be apart of... Anyway...now I'll set in the dark upon my knees, pause for a moment listening to the fan blow, open my mouth in silence for a moment and then say "Well.....what now...??".. *sigh*
Meanwhile I felt the Lord spoke to me yesterday on musical terms. People are always saying to use your talents for the Lord and it could possibly do hand in hand with my desire to minister to the outside world. I decided to seek a band that teeters between the more secular human heart and Christian heart. My hope is to reach non believers, draw them in, then expose the other side to them...somehow...I know with God's help it will happen. Only thing is I'm rarely 100% sure my ideas are God's ideas...I do know that if He wants to use me in this way then all I have to do is let Him 'guide my heart' ^_^ So far I've gotten a response from one guy who says he's actually putting together the same thing and stated that perhaps God was influencing us separately. I certainly hope so. He pretty much already has a band together and is looking for a lead vocalist - how wonderful! And I'm looking for everything he has that I know of so far. I gave him my number so we could talk more in depth about what we're each looking for so I certainly hope to hear from him ^_^ I'm really eager to get to God's work....I'm getting so anxious...and a little frustrated with how long it seems to be taking.
On another topic there is this bus boy at IHOP who is so cute and seems so sweet, but tonight when we sat down together and had a talk I realised the usual story and cute & sweet just ain't gonna cut it! I would just melt if I sat down with a guy for once and did NOT get red flags in the first conversation :.. But of course then I would fall in love, because that would be the man God has for me ^_^ Actually...there was this one guy that I had a few conversations with and I got no red flags at all...the only thing that was wrong with that was in my own heart - I just...couldn't feel about him that way...which is most unfortunate I feel, because he was the most suitable man I and others could see myself with. Oh well. God's obviously up to something even better, right? :D
It is now getting late and I must get back into full work-swing tomorrow now that the conference is over >:.. Having two jobs is getting on my nerves... Goodnight, all :)
- Des-to-the-ree`
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