When I Think of You

I think of innocence and youth.

I think of respect given,

More conviction needed.

I think of a kind heart with lots of love

A minor lack of understanding,

Viewing past actions in proper place

I see a comfort in eyes that make subtle statements

A face of a boy not grown but not a baby

Physical strength that would do no harm

A stern figure I can’t remember too well

I think of naivety, perhaps being clueless

I even think of possible smoothness

Perhaps I could see that you’re playing a role

A pillar or a pillow

A child-like glance that gives me slight discomfort

Not moving over to give you more room

A confusion practically consuming my thought process

An almost frantic panic enough to kneel to my floor at night

I think of days feeling like weeks

I think of a number you’ll probably never reach

I think of worrying what I might find out

Gentleness and playfulness

The possibility of you just wanting to reach out

Because “at home” you can’t.

I think of a night I was alone and suddenly I wasn’t

Of pleasant thoughts that could be easily stolen

Of compliments I’ve never heard before

Of a feeling you gave me then took back

Then gave to me again and I lost it.

Of playing a game I don’t like

I think of a longing for something almost different
Of a reluctant feeling to find it’s probably not.

- Desiree` Magee